Existential OCD: When Your Brain Won’t Stop Questioning Reality

What’s the Deal with Existential OCD?

Okay, let me set the stage… You’re chilling in your room, scrolling through IG, when suddenly—BOOM—what if nothing is real? What if life is just one big glitch in the matrix? Or worse—what if I’m not even real? 🤯

A little existential crisis every now and then is normal, for someone with Existential OCD (ExOCD), these thoughts aren’t just “wow, deep” for a second—they hijack your brain with never-ending loops of doubt, anxiety, and who am I even?

Here’s the kicker: ExOCD is a specific type of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) where your brain gets hooked on questions about existence, reality, and consciousness. It needs an answer that makes sense, but spoiler alert—there’s no perfect answer and this leads to a full-on meltdown.

So, What Does ExOCD Look Like IRL?

If you’ve ever found yourself spiraling over questions like “Am I dreaming right now?” or “What if I’m just a character in someone’s simulation?”—then you’re in the right place. For people with ExOCD, these thoughts don’t come and go. They become ALL CONSUMING.

1. Obsessive Questioning (AKA “Wait, What’s Going On?”)

You know when you suddenly Google “am I living in a simulation?” after watching The Matrix (or let’s be real, after watching some mind-bending TikTok theory)? Normal. But for ExOCD, the thoughts don’t just stay in the realm of curiosity. They turn into questions like:

• What if this whole life thing is just a glitch?
• What if I’m not actually real? Like, what if I’m just a figment of someone’s imagination?
• Do I even have free will? Or am I just following a script in a Netflix show?
• What if life has no meaning?

These aren’t just passing curious thoughts, they stick around and start stressing you the f*ck out!

2. The Google Spiral (“I NEED Certainty”)

Once you get one of these thoughts in your head, it’s hard to stop the flood. You start Googling every possible theory about reality, free will, and whether or not you’re living in a simulation. Or maybe you start texting your friends to double-check that they feel “real” too. (Ever hit up your BFF like, “Hey, do you think our memories are real or are we just imagining them?”) 🙃

But here’s the thing—the more you search for answers, the more lost you become. No answer is ever enough. The cycle just keeps spinning, making the anxiety worse.

3. Feeling Like You’re in a Dream (“Is This Real Life?”)

Ever had that feeling when you’re watching your own life unfold and it’s like you’re on autopilot? It’s like you’re watching a movie about yourself instead of actually living it. Some people describe it as “feeling detached” from their own body while others describe it as everything feeling fake.

4. Avoiding Triggers (“No, I Can’t Watch Inception Right Now”)

You know that feeling where you just can’t watch that deep philosophical movie or engage in a conversation about the meaning of life because it triggers your mind to spiral? Avoidance is real. People with ExOCD might steer clear of books, movies, or even conversations that bring up deep thoughts about existence, like “Black Mirror” episodes (honestly, can you blame them?).

But here’s the thing: Avoidance only makes it worse. Your brain starts thinking, “Uh-oh, this stuff is dangerous—better avoid it.” And that makes the OCD cycle stronger.

5. Compulsions to “Prove” Reality ( “Is This Real? Pinch Me!”)

Sometimes, to fight the anxiety, you do things like:

• Stare at your hands or objects to “check” if they’re real.
• Pinch yourself repeatedly to make sure you feel things.
• Maybe even repeat, “I’m real, I’m real” to calm yourself down. 😬

But here’s the catch: these compulsions might give you a tiny bit of peace… but it’s temporary. The anxiety always comes back, and the cycle starts over again. Ugh!

How Therapy Can Help You Break Free (It’s Not About Finding The Answer)

The natural instinct with ExOCD is to find the answer. But here’s the plot twist: there is no perfect answer to these existential questions. That’s where therapy comes in to help you change how you react to these thoughts. You don’t need to solve the puzzle and instead you need to stop letting the puzzle control you. 🧩✨

Here’s how Courageous Paths Counseling can help:

1. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) – Facing Your Fears

ERP is like the ultimate mental workout. Instead of avoiding existential fears, you face them head-on. The goal? To desensitize yourself to these thoughts so they don’t have power over you anymore.

What ERP could look like:

• Writing out a script about your deepest existential fear ( “What if life has no meaning?”) and reading it without trying to “solve” it.
• Watching shows or videos that trigger your thoughts, but not searching for reassurance afterward.
• Sitting in the discomfort while opening up to uncertainty, without trying to figure it out.

This helps train your brain to desensitize and not need to know all the answers to existential topics.

2. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Letting Go of the Struggle

ACT helps you accept the existential anxiety instead of fighting it. It’s about coexisting with the uncertainty. Instead of freaking out over what you don’t know, you learn to focus on what matters to you right now.

ACT techniques could be:

• Defusing from thoughts: You start saying, “Oh, here comes my OCD playing its game again” when those existential thoughts pop up.
• Refocusing on values, not answers: What do you care about right now? What brings you joy? Focusing on what matters most to you, not the meaning of the universe.
• Accepting uncertainty: Because guess what? No one knows the meaning of life.

3. Mindfulness – Stay Present, Stay Grounded

Mindfulness is like a mental reset. Instead of spiraling into deep existential thoughts, mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the here and now.

Here’s how you can practice mindfulness:

• Observe your thoughts without judgment—just notice them. (“Okay, that’s an OCD thought.” Moving on…)
• Connect with the present moment by doing grounding exercises—breathe, feel your surroundings, focus on your senses.
• Let go of needing to solve everything. Accept that some things will remain unknown and that’s totally fine.

Taking the First Step Toward Freedom 🌟

Existential OCD can feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending loop of “What is real?” But you don’t have to stay trapped. Therapy can help you break free from the cycle of doubt and anxiety.

At Courageous Paths Counseling, I get it. ExOCD can be tough, but with the right tools and support, you can start living a life guided by values instead of fear. It’s not about finding the answers—it’s about finding peace with the uncertainty and reclaiming your life.

Ready to get started? I’m here to help you break free from the spiral. Book a consultation today and take your first step toward peace. ✨